On Motherhood & Sanity


Sunday, July 24, 2016

we are in the business of saying good bye


they don't know any better really. It's their third continent, but they don't know any better. They don't remember anything from before. This is their home. This is their life. This is their story... about to change

We are but days away from our next move. It feels like we've lived here one hundred years.  My skin feels and smells like Brooklyn.

I don't remember it being so strange. this feels so much like home it seems hard to believe soon it will no longer be so.

They are brave. They are excited. they are marching into the unknown with a smile and a shovel.

Not entirely certain what the shovel is for.

But now, today, we are in the business of saying good bye. Different days entail different activities. and they are all about holding on tight to what we are about to let go. These days  are about creating memories. affirming that we are here.... having one last dance with who we are and who we love.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

blast off and initial landing.....

...10
...9
...8
...7
...6
...5
...4
...3
...2
...1
... 

... BLASTOFF
           



 I have overshot, or undershot.

Whatever it was, I did not reach the intended target. 

I seem to be floating aimlessly in limbo, neither here nor there. 

My body aches from death and rebirth and all the lifting of suitcases and boxes the process entailed. 
It was exhausting.

Muffled sounds from here mixed with the echoes from there make everything unintelligible.

Then there’s crocodile we saw on our way to get coffee.
Limbo. 
Dreams.
Not even Frida Kahlo could have thought of that one.


The jungle surrounds us. Distant echoes of the concrete  jungle we once called home –and let slip between our fingers- mix playfully with the nuños among the wet long grass. 

I miss you. All of you. Each of you.  
I also miss me and all that could have been but never was. 

Another story left unfinished. 

And so begins the process of rebuilding.  

I will soon gain the strength and the will to lift the hammer and break the muffled silence. Shatter the emptiness and beat the drum to the song of new memories. That quiet, quiet song I can’t quite hear yet but know is coming. 

The promise of a brand new shiny world.

for now I don’t yet have the strength. I only miss you.