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| singapore |
Today for the first time in a while I managed to get some time to sit down
and read some blogs. I came across a post on “why I blog”, something I’d been
meaning to write about for a
while.
Lately I’ve been struggling. I haven’t been inspired to
write. Some times it’s hard. You wonder why you invest so much time into sending your personal
thoughts to the universe so that strangers can read through them (and not leave
comments!) I feel happy when my stats go up, but feel abandoned when they
fizzle away as soon as I’m too busy or tired to keep rowing this heavy boat.
***
My mom often joked that the only reason she knew my name is
because she named me. Her little insider joke to complain about
my not being very open about… well, everything really.
This may come as a surprise but, I'm actually a very private person, in
person. I don't easily tell people around me what I'm thinking or feeling.
There is no particular reason for this. I was just drawn that way.
I used to hate coming back from holidays –apart from the
obvious reasons- because everyone would ask “how were your holidays?” Granted,
most people that asked could not have cared less. Still. It was a daunting
experience for me.
Yet I blog, a contradiction that I was only recently able to
make some sense out of.
In short,
1) because I like to write and blogging makes it easy for me
to do so regularly. They say that practice makes perfect and I don’t always
have the time to think about the book or an article. Blog posts are brief
(enough) and written often enough have (I believe) helped me to get better at
this. Also, I just enjoy writing.
2) because I work from home, and social media for me is the
equivalent of most people’s water cooler. Now that the mongrel’s have moved on
to full time schooling, freelancing gives me the flexibility to be more present
in their lives, but also means that when they all bugger off to work/school,
I’m left with a desk and a computer to spend the better part of my days.
I knew this stuff. The first is the reason I started the
blog and the second blatantly obvious (I take this opportunity to apologize to
my Facebook friends for regularly monopolizing their newsfeed). But only
recently did I manage to identify what is probably the most important and
satisfying reason of all.
3) because it makes me focus on the moment. Because in order
to write weekly or even more often, I have to focus on what is happening here
and now, what I'm thinking about,
mulling over, doubting…. it
forces me to be more present, to focus on the little things of everyday life, the ones we might forget to photograph
or even think about.
These are the
big ones, but having it as a "family photo album" of sorts is
definitely a plus. And since I am convinced that most of you reading it are
imaginary anyways, well, that just makes it easier.