Day 3 December Challenge, what to hold on to and when to let go...

Her PJs are too short. Her shoes too small. Her sleeves no longer reach her wrist, and that is just the beginning.

My baby girl is no longer a baby and, as predicted, I no longer have to worry if  she sleeps through the night  or falls from her crib. And thought that is a relief, suddenly the potential "falls" seem higher. I have to begin worrying  if she will be bullied or left out. If she will succeed academically.  If she might be approached on the street or the internet.  The world feels too big and I feel the sudden urge to  bring her back into the  crib where I can watch over her. 

The kids have entered a really special time. I used to think that babies were the best years, now I realize that it really does keep getting better. Overnight conversations have  taken a turn. They are more colorful and complex. They are starting to wonder about the world and actively deciding how and where to stand in it. They are asserting their independence, at the same time they still think I am "the bestest." That certainly  won't last long! 

The baby-child is slipping away  and I want to savour every second I've got left.

before becoming a butterfly, the caterpillar must go through the awkward stage of being a chrysalis.

In regards to  what to let go of... I've really been struggling with this one. Going through the prompts I've come to realize that I hold a lot of resentment towards my body. I hope to let go of that. 

Day 2 December Challenge: sound

I like the sound of rain, and the silence that comes with snow. 

I like the sound of heavy small feet approaching.

I like the sound that skype makes, you know someone you care about is calling. 

I like christmas carrolls

and I am absolutely obsessed with this song. 

 I heard it once on the pilot of Nashville and have not been able to stop singing to it since. It is originally by the Civil Wars, but this version is much better.

I dare you to listen to it just once....

December Positive reflections, Day 1

Here's the first:

December 1:One Word (Written by Gwen Bell): Encapsulate the year 2012 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2013 for you? (to see 2011's click here)

My word for 2012 has to be "marathon." It just felt like one constant run where I barely got a change to come up for air (which is why I chose the jellyfish as  the photo to represent it). There was just too much stuff going on. A lot of great stuff, some bad stuff too, but most of the time life looked out of focus, with the background sound being "pant, pant, pant"

pant pant pant

for 2013 the word I would choose is "transformation." I've reached a point where the status quo does not suit me anymore. I need change, I need to move on to the next step, a new step, a new layer.   It's time to rock things up. 

December Positive Reflections, or December challenge

Reverb was started in 2010 by Gwen Bell. It was meant as a  daily writing practice that focused on examining the previous year and sending out reverberations for a positive year ahead. 

So, the idea is: you get a prompt a day, and write and execute what the prompt is about-either on your blog, your journal, paint it, whatever.

it's now developed into a rather free-form art. We did it here last year.  Truth be told, it ended up being a bit stressful having to write every day while on a very special family holiday. So, not entirely sure how I'm going to approach it  this year. I do promise this: I will set up a prompt every morning for the next 31 days so that even if I don't do it, you can. I will put it on my facebook page. As always, feel free to share here or on the  OnSanity facebook page. It's kind of nice to get feedback. But no worries if you'd rather just do it in your head 

Letter to the anonymous beneficiaries that I meet in my travels

shelter for women (and their children) victims of violence. Bangladesh

Sometimes you look at me like I'm a saviour. like I may actually make a difference,
and it makes me feel ashamed, because I know how limited the impact of my actions will be in your life.

Sometimes you look at me like a nuisance, another foreigner poking at your wounds,
and that makes me feel shame too.

Sometimes you look at me grateful. Grateful that I made time for you in my busy schedule, and it makes me happy to be with you.

Sometimes you look at me  in awe: I'm a woman, and in your eyes and of those around you, important, and that gives you hope that it is possible,  that you are right to believe that you can, that you deserve better, and then I know I might have a purpose.

***

What I do, my job, might have an impact on your life, but even  if does, it will be small. I hope at least  that what I do -what many of us try to do- will  go towards ensuring  that your daughter does not suffer the same fate.

Today I toast  to you and in the honour of the many brave women that fight every day to change the world, to make it a better place, to protect their children from pain, abuse and injustice. Not from a desk, like we do, but through risking  their own lives.

Today we celebrate you, on the International day for the elimination of violence against women.

Farewell Nicaragua -Photo post

Ron Flor de Caña

Volcán Mombacho

buseta

Managua

fish in Chinatown -photo post

Chinatown, NYC - 2012