Arts and crafts night, or why quality time should only take place in my head

the pink one

How it happens in my head:

“I haven’t been spending enough quality time with the kids lately…. I’m going to organize something nice to do together tonight. Maybe buy some arts and crafts, some nice cookies and milk. I’ll stop working when they get home from school, cut off the internet, and we’ll spend  the afternoon doing things together and talking”

How it happens in reality:

(bring out nice cookies)

O&A- “mammy you are the bestest!”

so far so good

me- and I have some nice stuff for us to do (as I pull out the arts and crafts project)

O- I want the pink one

A- me too

O- I saw the  pink one first!

me- (softly, in a motherly tone and modeling adequate behaviour) no yelling, ask nicely

A-no me! I’m a girl, I get the pink one (pulling the pink one out of O’s hand)

me- don’t take things like that, that’s not nice

O- (crying) I had the pink one first (begins headbutting A)

me- don’t headbutt your sister! (tone rising)

A-(starts crying) he hit me!

me- (as I'm about to open my mouth in order  to admonish O for hitting A, A strikes O) A, no hitting!

A-but he hit me first! (true)

me- just because he hits you doesn’t mean that you can hit him back. Before I could have yelled at him, now I have to yell at you too  (tone going up, meanwhile O has gone back to headbuttting his sister)

A-(begins to cry and scream,) but he hit me first!!!

(O takes this opportunity to take the pink one back and run with it )

eeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!

(at super human pitch and volume level. Runs after O and pushes  him to the floor. Grabs the pink one and runs off.

O -(crying)

me- enough!!!     The two of you stop it now, I mean it!!!! (while pulling the pink one away from A not nicely and yelling louder than either of them)

A- crying

O- crying

me- fuck it, I’m going back to work (nearly Crying)

***

click here to read more about why family outings should only take place in my head....