On Motherhood & Sanity


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

the guilt box

we've all got one. It might be bigger or smaller, but we've got one. If you are a working mom, you might have a shiny-shiny colorful one, like mine.

This is my "I'm going to the opposite side of the world for two weeks while my kids still haven't recovered from my last trip" guilt box.

let me rewind a bit.

We moved to NYC about 5 months ago. I took a full month off, and carried on working from home afterwards. After three months I felt they were ready (and had previous commitments I could not ignore), so off I went. O started crying when they dropped him off at school and A having trouble at night. we all assumed they would get over it shortly after my return, but alas, only now, two months later,  is O starting to go to school calm, and A is still having troubles at night.

Enter shiny shiny guilt box.

Since I have to travel again I thought that perhaps if I left something behind for every day I am out, it would make my trip feel shorter. Of course, then I felt guilty about spoiling them. Will they get used to getting a present a day? will they expect me to do this every time?

still. I felt that circumstances called for extraordinary measures, but the measures could just be symbolic. Just a little something would do. Enter guilt over the fact that half of those little somethings are sweets. mainly because there are only so  many things that you can get for under 2 dollars (thanks for the other 6 Target!)

will this help?

I hope so. it will at least help me I suppose.

is it a bad precedent? am I spoiling them?

probably....  but guilt feels much better in a shiny-shiny pink bag with ribbons