On Motherhood & Sanity


Friday, May 11, 2012

Things I hope my children will say on mothers day twenty years from now





This last Sunday I woke up to two excited monkeys each holding a bunch of peonies, my favourite flower. “Happy mothers day!” they were screaming, (which it wasn’t, not in America, but apparently dad’s hallmark calendar is jet lagged and really, who cares).

It’s the first time that they get an idea of what this day means. As the years go by I expect and look forward to getting all sorts of school organised mothers day gifts. I will cherish the mug, the cup holder, and everything else they throw my way, as much as the well deserved lie-in and not touching the dishes for the  day.

Then I started thinking about the future, what would I want my kids to thank me for once they were fully grown up?

It was quite a daunting prospect because right now I am one notch down from god. I can do no wrong (except when I’m unfair or when I don’t let them do anything). But really, adults, that is when judgement day comes, when  you have to accept if you got it mostly right, at least the important things, or if you missed any big holes.

These are the things I wish my kids will say on mothers day twenty years from now.

I hope they …

  1. always felt I made time for them. At least for the important stuff
  2. say that I inspired them to be better, even in some little way
  3. always feel they can come to me if the shit hits the fan. That we are like an imaginary net below them that will soften the fall
  4. say  that although my trips were long,  my work, what I do and why I do it, made them proud
  5. understand that work is important, that whatever you choose to do you must choose to do well, but that family comes first
  6. come to me for advice. The best form of praise
  7. want to raise their children like we raised them, at least in some ways
  8. feel I gave them courage to try and the certainty to know they’d survive if they failed
  9. know they are good enough, and anyone who doesn’t  see it that way does not deserve much of their time, and is certainly not worth crying over.
  10. learned to dream big, and to put in the work necessary to make that dream happen
  11. question everything and are not afraid of being different. Understanding that “different” is how “new” happens.
  12. feel I taught them right from wrong. Even if only by struggling with it myself sometimes
  13. still send me flowers every mothers day, to say thank you. We love you. You didn’t get everything right but you got it mostly right and I’m a better person for it …even if it doesn’t quite spell it out like that on the card
and on that note, happy mother's day mom.



other mother's day posts
- a history of  mothers day
on why you shouldn't hate mother's day