On Motherhood & Sanity


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Motherhood is nothing but a series of days

‘ I’m a bad mother day’;

‘ I could be replaced by the nanny and the kids wouldn’t notice day’;

‘ it wouldn’t make a difference if I didn’t show up day’;

‘ my preschooler knows more swearwords than me & chose to show me on open class day’;

‘ I don’t care if their teeth fall off from too much sugar as long as they are quiet day’;



‘ my kid went from the terrible twos to the fucking threes day’;

‘ there is no such thing as too much TV day’;

‘ my kid is screaming his head off and sounds just like me day’;

‘ the hospital shouldn’t have allowed me to take the children home day’;

‘ I sound just like my mother, & I’m saying everything I swore I wouldn’t day ’;

‘ I’m getting divorced and leaving the children behind day ’;

‘ I’d rather be sleeping day ’;



‘ stop touching me day ’;

‘ you peed on me (again) day’;

‘ social services is going to come take the kids any day now day’;

‘ I’m never buying them paint or anything that can stick permanently day’;



‘ you opened the public toilet door too soon and showed everyone my butt day’;

‘"don’t touch the guitar" includes for putting stickers on it day’;

‘ stop touching your sister day’;

‘ either you stop crying or I join you day’;



‘ who are you and what did you do with my sweet baby day’;

‘ I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that until after I’ve had my coffee day’;



And then, just when you think you are about to break, your kid is the only one that picks up the toys, says please and thank you, and charms the room with a lovely story, which makes it into

‘ I’m the best mommy in the world (or at least this room, which is pretty good) day ’.



Or you get an ‘only mommy can make it better day’; you make the booboo better, you fix the bike, you saw the eyes back on the rabbit, you save the day;

The little hands reach around your neck

“I lowe you too much mommy”

and all’s forgotten.


PS this post is dedicated to @L8enough, hope you get a laugh out of my crap mommy days

8 comments:

Jana @ An Attitude Adjustment said...

I really love this last picture. How'd you manage that? And I can identify with all these kinds of days, but I'm not as nicely descriptive. I call them good mom day and bad mom day. Yesterday I was a bad mom. Hopefully today, I'll be a good one!

angelica said...

I think the point is we all suck at this some times, and I for one take some (sad) comfort in knowing it is normal.

The pic was part of a campaign for a cookie company. I'm a photographer some days too.

My son has to look like an angel so I'll be too scared to hurt him and piss off god (he is very funny though).

Natalie said...

Yay! I love this post and I'm so glad you stopped by my blog and said hello! This brought a smile to my face because I could relate all too well to all of your days...

Alex@LateEnough said...

Loved it! I'm relieved that I'm not the only one who plans: Leave her husband and children and run away days!
Seriously, thank you.

Sarah @ momalom said...

I'm often stuck on the "wish everyone would leave me alone in my house for three days" day.

Love the list. Motherhood can #suckit on some days. :)
But then there's moments of gold in all that crap the kids throw our way. And we sigh. And we know it's all worth it.

evf said...

Angelica,

I'm so glad we can all relate. A friend and I decided that once a month the kids get TV week because when mom can't hack it, at least the TV brings a second of quiet. Ahhh...

angelcia said...

last year I took a week off and went on a yoga retreat. it was amazing! he wants to have one more kid. (me too, don't tell him) my condition, I get another week yoga retreat in asia before a i get pregnant. fair is fair people!

Diana said...

I read all of your posts, I love them, and they bring memories, sweet memories.
Just hang in there, the prize for raising children is to become a Granma: All the fun, no responsibility and when you have had it with the little angels, you can go home, with no regrets.