As you read this I am on a plane over the Atlantic leaving behind Europe and what has been my life for the last 2.5 years, (as well as my kids and my husband, although that should only be for a couple of days).
My soul is resisting this move. Too many moves in too little time in the past few years. As I heard one psychologist put it, we have been going over the entry stage over and over, without ever making in into the assimilation stage. Starting to pack as soon as the last paintings are up, sort to speak.
During my last trip to Amsterdam I kept finding allusions to NY, like this mural of the Brooklyn Bridge in a clothes shop
or this post card at the FOAM museum
(I just had to laugh)
good signs? I hope so. I am sometimes tempted to start getting excited, but something inside of me just blocks it away. I hope I am able to open my heart to this town again. This town where I once lived but have not visited since I left on June 2006. I remember the date well because I was on maternity leave from my 9 to 5 job at the UN, and had a (rather loud) two month old on tow. We lived in the east village then, commuted together to the office in the morning. Now ... all will be different. I have two kids, I work from home, we'll live in Brooklyn which I barely know. Most of my friends are gone, nomads themselves. All will be different, yet New York somehow also feels like home. It always did.
This last photo is of the Hotel New York in Rotterdam. The hotel restaurant here looks to the water, and it is where many a travelers stopped before embarking on their trip to New Amsterdam, or what later came to be known as New York. It still has some old features, like the old elevator or some old luggage, and I thought it was the most appropriate photo to say farewell to my years linving in Holland and hello to my new life in New York.