Day 6: Achieve

Lat year's prompt was: Achieve. What’s the one thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? 

For 2012 I hope to gain all the weight that I managed to loose, and then some. 

I hope to be tired, exhausted really.

Overwhelmed, weepy and cranky.  

I want to be fat, sleep deprived and unemployed with short interludes of absolute bliss.

yup, that is what I'm aiming for.... sprog #3

Day 5: your body

last year's prompt on Body integration  was:  when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? ~ (by Patrick Reynolds)

I'd like to change it to what gift did you give your body this year? when were you kind to it (instead of critical) how will you be kind to it next year?

i for one had a bit of a scare last year, and  this year....  but last year   was the first time that I took it seriously and it changed my attitude towards exercise. Before  exercise always felt  vein and superficial (when it meant prioritising it to my kids) or just unrealistic (when it came to prioritising it to work). and then the shit hits the fan and you realise you've only got one body, and nobody is getting any if that body is not around. not even the kids. so I started the year off with a detox   which was actually quite a shocking experience, mainly  because once you hit that switch it becomes so easy to do what you know you should be doing, second, because once the three week detox was over my body wanted  nothing to do with the old habits, it was just amazing to me how strongly it reacted and how much it did not want crap back in. but of course little by little you fall back into the old ways...

I did maintain my commitment to exercise going to yoga twice a week, and I think it's really made a difference. 

as for next year.... the stress of the move has thrown me back into the deep end of my old ways. so today I am booking and appointment with a holistic doctor that will put me in a strict and very specific to my needs diet, (as soon as the holidays are over... lets be realistic people). I have also bought a one month unlimited dance class pass for the month of  January ... I used to dance, haven't since high school.... will in January and hopefully I will fall in love with one of the classes and continue to do so, together with yoga, and eat better, and meditate, and .....

And I want my children to get used to doing something physical, whatever it is, but I want it to become part of their life from an early age. we must not neglect the body, and I must lead by example. 

It's a somewhat ambitious plan.

Day 4: pick a moment when you felt most alive this year... (and November family self portrait)

I can't choose one moment, but I can say that every now and then the fact that I have a family creeps up on me and hits me full force "BAM!" a feeling so strong it  nearly throws me to the ground.

We may be doing nothing or something totally inconsequential. Maybe I just come across some little shoes left on the hall way and "BAM!" it overwhelms me, my chest fills with love and pride and a certain amount of disbelief, that this is my life, that I made these people, that we make this family, that we are building this life together. A feeling so strong it makes my chest hurt and barely fits inside of me.

Did you have a "BAM!" moment this year? one of those moments where you are totally overwhelmed (by love, surprise, pain...)

Although I had planned something different and hope to still do it,  I'm afraid this is going to have to do as my November family self portrait, at least for now. To learn a bit more about that project go here, and to look at the other months you con go to the links below. (my fave so far is October)

October

September

August

July

June

April

March

February

January

Day 3: on life's surprises and keeping sense of wonder

I love how life throws you surprises. Ok. admittedly I don't always love those suprises but..

Patricia Fernández-Pacheco- "Manual para Acróbatas" (Torremozas 2011)  

this here reading a page from her recently published poetry book is someone I have known, or rather e-known, for almost two years now, but only met in person last month. 

She is someone I know through work. so imagine my surprise when I casually received an invite to her book launch.

I admit it makes me jealous that she finds the  time to write when I haven't even touched my book for a couple of months now. Not to mention the fact that this is her second published book. But I was grateful to be  there. I was grateful for this spontaneous "artist date", this opportunity to get off the wagon of life, if only for a couple of hours, and remember the little things that inspire me. That sense of wonder and delight in the little things that art requires. The ability to  take something old, something that people don't even notice anymore, and make it new. 


This is at the heart of my photography. Trying to capture what normally you don't even notice.

***

The (unofficial) prompt for today was  "What are some things you held onto in 2011 that you would like to let go of in 2012?" 

I want to turn it around and think of the things that I want to keep hold of, and that thing is my desire to keep learning and growing. This year I started guitar lessons. The princess has kids in her class that are at 5 years old and  probably better than me. Who cares, it is not about that, it is not about them, it is about doing something you love, even if it makes no sense. And making the time for it, for you, for the little part in you that wants to be inspired.

I also loved that  someone that I knew had something so unexpected about her. 

I love it (for the most part) when life throws me surprises, and reminds me not to take too many assumptions for granted. 
***
what about you? what do you want to let go off this year? what do you want to hold on to?

Day 2: choose one word

I'm not a morning person. but waking up to this would put  a smile on anyone's face.

The prompt thrown around for day one of reverb11 (there isn't an official site anymore) was choose one word to describe 2011. I have to go with love. 

Its been busy, there has been  chaos and madness,  but the bottom line is that I am constantly and continuously surrounded by love.  My kids, my husband, my parents, my mother in law, my sisters, my brother, my grandma, my nephews, my cousins.... they were there for me, they are there for me, and that -as the Mastercard add puts it- is priceless.

What one word would you use to describe 2011? can you photograph it?

Day 1: December challenge

so I'm going to do it. It's crazy and probably stupid, but hey.... some of the best things happen  after those words have been uttered.

I am going to do my December challenge and am going to post a photo every day (every day....) this month. 

Which means you'll have to be kind and accept that sometimes those photos might not be great. Which means you have to be generous and comment in order to encourage me, or even better, join me! and link your photos here or share them on the onSanity facebook page.

December for me is about taking stock and gearing up for what it is you want to accomplish on the next year, so I am going to try to do this through photographs. I want the camera to force me to look at my surroundings and my life. To focus on what I no longer see because I take for granted. on what is missing and what  I want. I think it's more about story telling than art, about letting your guard down and waiting to see what happens. Allowing for that to happen. It's my version of reverb11.

It's probably a bad idea to agree to do this in the busiest month of the year, but it's probably also going to be fun.

So here is today; I'm at my desk writing to you, me e-conscience, instead of doing the work I should be doing. On my desk lies this postcard, I have no idea where it came from, but it's one of the biggest truths I know, and what I remind myself when I get impatient with myself. It's also ironically the opposite of what this challenge is about. 

To the left lies an Indian love goddess whose name I do not know which was given to me by my mom when I was still in college. It has travelled with me since, and clearly works as I bagged the best husband ever. 

on why I like to write...

photo by ZedZap