On Motherhood & Sanity

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Day 7: on weathering storms...

What storm did you weather? Big or small... obstacle(s) did you overcome? Feel free to be literal if you prefer... was there an actual storm that you survived?

capture from "Diary" by Tim Heatherington

Tim's death was definitely a storm that hit my shore this year.   It put me in touch with mortality and eternity at the same time. It's a wound on my side, a knot in my stride..... 

I said I wouldn't talk about him more here, so I wont. Instead I'll share something of his that speaks volumes to me. 

I have not seen and hope I'll never witness the kind of shit that Tim did, but I feel this video conveys what it feels like to be an aid worker too. That sense of "one day I'm in a school with former child soldiers or people that can't eat, and the next in a cab down cobbled stone streets surrounded by fancy shops filled with unnecessary things." For better and for worse I live with that contrast. For better and for worse I've  spent too many nights alone with nothing but  dirty mosquito nets in a random hotel, in an even more random town. 

Tim better than anyone understood that the Devil is in the detail and away from the spotlight. To think that this was just the beginning of his dialogue.... it should have been just the beginning. 

PS although I do recommend it, and it is more poetic than gory, it is not for the faint of heart. Maybe now that I've shared it with you he'll stop haunting me....